As I mentioned in a thread of breakbeat’s recently, I am now using a lot of what Juggler has been recommending with regards to being genuinely expressive and keeping the convo focused (as much as can be) on MYSELF and am relying on myself as basically the sole source of ALL sarging material. I have noticed women being responsive to it.
Here is an example…
ME: Yeah, I am a psych major now. I am just interested in this class because I come from a family of lawyers and cops. I changed from Computer Science because the company paying for my school laid me off and…
HB: Ooooh I am sorry.
ME: Oh, don’t be, it’s the BEST thing that ever happened to me.
HB: REALLY?
ME: Oh yeah, I was in a deep state of denial about how much I was enjoying being a software engineer. I was a different person when I first got the job at 20. I felt so proud to have this great job and to be so well thought of and it was all so new. But as time went on I started to enjoy it less and less but I felt trapped, it was….as if I had painted myself into a corner. Now I am learning about the stuff I really like….
Notice particularly in the last quote I am targeting a wide range of expression. First I an in a STATE OF DENIAL about my ENJOYMENT, then I was a DIFFERENT PERSON, then I am PROUD, then I FEEL WELL THOUGHT OF, then it was NEW, then I ENJOY IT LESS, then I FEEL TRAPPED, then I AM PAINTED INTO A CORNER….and so on.
As long as you are focused on your reactions to the world as a human being you have an unlimited source of material to work with. If you are sufficiently expressive in this way she will both EV you and open up herself. If you get used to doing this normally and naturally even when you are not actively sarging you will also experience deeper rapportwith people in general and have a more enriching experience as a human being. Kinda cool how that works :-)
The way you know you are really having an incredible connection is that you don’t have to talk about what an INCREDIBLE CONNECTION there is or remind her of some incredible connection that went on in her life at some point in the past. All that does is communicate your lack of confidence in your ability to represent the ORIGINAL source of those feelings you are trying to remind her of. Instead, you are focused on communicating about the stuff that such a connection would actually be BASED ON.
Canned material should focus on something to do with YOU. The blond hair opener is good for example. So is asking her opinion of some article of clothing you are wearing. In transitioning, keep the focus still on you and move progressively towards a feeling of free-flow expression between you and her.
To acknowledge the concerns of people who have stated that they feel a need to develop their confidence with canned routines before trying something like this I will point out that the confidence you develop doing that is illusory. The confidence is in the material, not in you. When you are genuinely expressing your core self and are able to see women responding well to that and not something you have read in a newsgroup your self-esteem goes through the roof.
